At church one Sunday shortly after my diagnosis, the congregation sang my third song. I had never heard it but honed in on the last line of the chorus:
My Healer will see me through.
That was enough for me. And as I mentioned in Part I of this post series, if that were the entirety of the song, it would be enough. The song stuck in the back of my mind for over a year, and finally just about a month ago I decided to track it down. Come to find out, the whole song, by Elevation Worship, applies this time and is nothing but an encouragement in the face of unanswered questions, pain, and discouragement. It is not just a cry to God for help in our troubles but a declaration to Him that we believe what He has promised to do and trust that we—and our struggles of all kinds—are in His hands. And that that is enough.
Not only does God see us in our pain and struggles, He has made promises that we know He will keep:
God who answers prayer,
Faithful you will be.
In my darkest hour
Your promise I believe.
Bless the Lord with all that’s within, O my soul.
I cry out with all that I am, make me whole.
Here I stand, I place all my hope in you.
My Healer will see me through.
No, there is not currently a cure for fibromyalgia. And it is not my calling to devote my life to that future happening. I have no idea if there will ever be one and how close they may be to one. I am not banking on a cure for relief from this prison of a body. Maybe that’s just pessimism, but it’s just not flitting in the back of my mind as a probable happening.
I know that God can and does heal and that sometimes He doesn’t, always for the best reasons, as He knows far, far better than any of us what is best. Sometimes He chooses to heal. But sometimes He says no, even when we ask Him to.
So even though my Healer did not choose to heal me when some loving friends of mine implored it of Him several months ago, even though He has not changed that answer, even though in my hardest nights life in this prison feels nothing but sickeningly dark, lonely, and hopeless, even though He may not heal me while I am on this earth, He is still my Healer, as one day I will be healed, and He will still see me through.
I am honestly not sure that, if I did not know Him, I would still be here today. I may very well have reached a level of despair that nothing but Him could have helped. He literally has seen me through and holds me in His hands, even when I am in gut-wrenching pain or crying inconsolably or certain that I cannot live this way any longer.
People can comfort me. Laughter can comfort me. Music can comfort me. But only my Healer is there for every tear and every breath, silently holding this life in His hands.
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If you missed them, make sure to take a look at the first two posts in this series. And also, if you have a fibro anthem or two of your own, please comment and let me know! The more music, the merrier. 🙂
This Wind-Driven Life 